She is an year-old freshman, starry eyed and entranced by her teacher's apparent brilliance and sensitivity. He is flattered by her attention. An after-class tutorial leads to drinks. Drinks lead to a sexual encounter. Are they two consenting adults in love, or is it sexual harassment and exploitation? The appropriateness of faculty-student dating is being discussed on campuses throughout Dating college teacher, echoing a nationwide debate about whether such relationships should be tolerated, regulated or banned altogether.

Faculty members at the University of Virginia recently voted to prohibit sexual relationships between professors and the students they supervise. A more stringent regulation, which would have banned romance between all professors and undergraduates, was voted down. A survey of Westchester colleges and universities revealed that no formal policies addressing faculty-student dating are in place, but many schools said that a prohibition against such relationships is implicit in other policies regulating professional conduct.

A Gray Area Representatives from the State University of New York at Purchase, Marymount College, Sarah Dating college teacher College, Pace University, Westchester Community College, Iona College and Mercy College also said that such relationships were non traditional dating websites by the administration though not specifically addressed in college policies.

But administrators, professors and students alike say that the dating college teacher of faculty-student dating is newspaper dating personals complex one. Some say that the unequal power in a relationship between a dating college teacher and a faculty member -- particularly one who is in a position to grade or make recommendations about the student he or she is dating -- is inherently exploitative.

Others cite happy marriages of professors to their former students. Several psychologists who teach at local schools also stress the difficulty of regulating human behavior, regardless of what's printed in a college policy handbook. Suzanne Kessler, Associate Professor of Psychology at SUNY Purchase. Though I certainly hear some stories about guys doing just that.

I'm often asked if professors can tell when students are crushing on them. When it was very obvious, I sometimes could, though the outer appearance of enthusiasm for the subject and physical attraction to the one teaching it tend to look very similar. My female colleagues tend to be savvier about recognizing when they're on the receiving end of the crush. By the time they get to college, many but by no means all women have learned that flirtatiousness is a necessary tactic for getting older men's consideration.

Some female students flirt with me on their initial visits to my office hours. It's rarely evidence of my desirability. It's more often a reflection of the reality that many women have concluded that if they want to be heard, they'll need to get a male professor's attention first. And they've learned that the quickest way to get that attention is with their sexuality. It's a rare male professor who can easily distinguish between that kind of grim "flirtation of necessity" and a genuine crush.

All the more reason for male professors to be leery of what appears to be sexual interest on the part of female students. I don't have a problem with students asking out their former instructor, provided the grades have been turned in. But I try to warn them that the reality of an actual relationship is likely to be disappointing.

Students fall in love with a fantasy; the professor who seems so cool dating college teacher commanding in the lecture hall is rarely so charismatic over dinner — or as mind-blowing in bed as one might have fantasized. Additionally, other students may perceive you as having an unfair advantage because you are, by nature, closer to at least one member of the faculty. If you're dating a professor whose classes you take, students may think you're getting special treatment or grades you haven't earned, no matter if you actually are.

In your mind, you might just be enjoying the benefits of a nice relationship. But in other students' minds, you might be enjoying something they are unable to get unless they make the same choices you did. Be prepared for your relationship to cause tension with your peers, as they may envy your inside access to the faculty world What If Dating college teacher Doesn't Work Out? Dating a professor can have tricky long-term consequences.

Student-Faculty Dating: It's Not in the Rule Book

Student Dating College Professor

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